


Fuck You All

by ellismiki



Category: Petscop (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Addiction, Depression, Drug Use, Dysfunctional Family, Father trying to reconnect with his confused son, Local college dropout learns that game teaching him to fear his father is bullshit, Mental Illness, Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27749260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellismiki/pseuds/ellismiki
Summary: Petscop was built on lies.That's what Paul is told as his estranged father moves in with him and his family. Rainer simply had a shitty vendetta against Marvin, and ruined everyone's lives within a five-mile radius.But the game of lies still beckons Paul to spend sleepless nights upon sleepless nights, hits of weed upon painkiller withdrawal. Marvin's been in this exact position before, and he owes it to his son to help him. Because if he doesn't, will he still have a son?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Fuck You All

**Author's Note:**

> hihihi welcome to the rough draft of my marvin good / pissbaby bad rainer au lmao
> 
> just needed to publish thsi b4 it got yeeted B)

**NOVEMBER 16-17**

"So...all that shit isn't true."

Marvin sighs, moving his rook. "Exactly. Rainer couldn't accept the fact that most of the shit that happened was his fault, and blamed it on me."

"It doesn't make sense." Paul contemplates his next move, but his foggy brain is focused elsewhere. "What _did_ you do?"

"I threatened shit. Rainer heard about it and made those threats into real things."

"Huh?"

"Yeah."

Too loudly, Paul says, "What a dick." Then he frowns. "I don't think I should say that."

"Well, he's dead, so whatever."

His head shoots up: "He's dead?"

* * *

Then he wakes up. When did he fall asleep? 4AM? When daybreak had hit? He doesn't even remember going to bed - he remembers the dream, though. Playing chess with ~~his dad~~ Marvin, Rainer was weird or something....

"What even...."

A knock on his door. He turns over from where he lies, spotting Belle in the doorway. 

"You're not gonna like this," she says.

"I had a weird dream -"

"God, Paul." She swallows. Fuming. "I hate this too."

"What?" Paul groggily rubs his eyes. "What time is it?"

"One. Come downstairs. Prepare yourself."

 _For what?_ Paul glances over at the TV screen. _Am I in trouble? Did they find something on there?_ Groaning, he sits up, stretching his legs before walking out with Belle.

"What's going on?" He whispers. 

Belle shakes her head as they descend the stairs. "You're gonna have to see for yourself."

At the bottom is the family kitchen, where a few adults surround an oval dinner table. Mom stands, arms crossed; Jill, the bitchy aunt from NYC, sitting just beside Anna - and at the end of the table sits another figure. Arms crossed, folding into himself. Shaggy mullet, dirt-stained hoodie, and - 

_Marvin._

Almost immediately, Paul goes, "What the fuck?"

He sighs, avoiding Paul's eyes. Jill leans forward and rests her elbows on the table. "Why don't you two have a seat?"

Belle squeezes her brother's hand. "I said you're gonna hate this-"

She's interrupted as Paul yanks his hand from hers, repeating himself: "What the _fuck_?"

"Paul, please." His mom closes her eyes, rubbing her temples. "This is a shock to all of us, I know."

Huffing, Belle starts for a seat, then turns back toward Paul. "It's safe."

Paul reluctantly heads for the table, but doesn't take a seat. Instead, he awkwardly stands, glaring at the man at the end. Jill smiles at him, the fake smile she always does - telling him everything's gonna be fine. _Such bullshit_. 

"So. Your father and I have spent plenty of time gathering enough evidence to prove his innocence, and -"

" _Innocence_." Belle scoffs skeptically.

Jill shoots her a nasty look before continuing. "We've gathered the evidence to prove that the game Paul spends 24/7 playing, holed up in his room, is fake."

"What?" Paul furrows his brows. "What do you -"

"She means that Rainer lied," Anna juts in. She stares blankly at the table. "About _everything_."

"Everything?"

The table falls silent, until Belle admits it: "Everything."

Marvin suddenly shifts forward. "I knew Rainer for a long time. Since he was born. Always taking advantage of people. He's a master manipulator. He knows your weaknesses, and he _will_ use them to make you - "

Paul freezes. "I dreamed about this. Something like this."

"It wasn't a dream," Marvin says bluntly. His eyes lock on Paul's. "You were just on acid when we talked."

Anna's head whips around. "Paul!"

"No, I...." But in the back of his mind, he knows it has to be true. Sleepless nights. Pills. Tablets on little slips of paper. Walking the city. Climbing back through his window. Petscop. In and out, reality fading, submerged in 90s graphics, waving, waxing waning. And then sleep. Two hours. Waking up with the worst headache. Where am I? Who am I? 

Clearing her throat of the uncomfortable lodge, Jill continues. "Your father doesn't want forgiveness. He just needs a place to -"

"He's not my dad." It's a quick statement, poisonous. The table shifts into a shocked silence. Marvin covers his mouth, leaning back.

Naturally, Jill sees this as a challenge. "Fine, I'll play your game. _Marvin_ needs a place to stay."

"Why here?" Belle questions. "Why now? Why...what happened?"

"Marvin can tell you guys. I'm getting a drink." Almost smugly, Jill glances at her brother, who groans.

"Drugs. Eviction."

Paul shakes his head. "This is a shitshow. I'm leaving."

Even Belle protests as he runs upstairs, but no one stops him. No one to stop him from throwing himself into bed - trying to will some other emotion other than numb anger - no tears. Is he even human? No. Maybe. Usually he will pull the towel off the PlayStation, revealing its bright screen, and search for the answers. The clues. The pieces.

But now that's moot. He's confused and nothing is helping.

_Jesus._

* * *

"Paul, what are you -"

"I'm leaving." He slings his backpack over his shoulders. 

"No. Nu-uh." Belle crosses her arms, standing still in the doorway. "You are _not_ leaving."

"Yes I am. Move."

"Do you have somewhere to go? A plan? How long?"

"Belle. Move."

"Dude, come on."

Paul clenches his jaw, letting the backpack slide off his back. Belle steps forward: "I want to fucking scream, Paul. I get it. But, like, this isn't the way to deal with your dad."

"He's _not_ my dad."

"Yeah, okay, cool." Belle sighs. "I spoke to him."

"That's bold of you." 

"Whatever, I know. He told me he doesn't expect you to like, come around. Not so quickly. He knows you don't wanna talk with him, or even associate with him...but he _cares_ about you. That's what he told me. And he wants to tell you, but he thinks you hate him."

"But...I _do_ hate him."

"Whatever. I mean, I get it. All this time we were told that Marvin's an incel or something - hey. Don't laugh."

Paul can't help the chuckle. "Incel. Nice."

"Dick," Belle scoffs, but the smile doesn't stop tugging at her lips. Another _snrk-!_ , and they burst out in giggles.

The weight of the situation floats and then comes crashing down on them again - Belle's face gets all twisty and sympathetic. "Hey, I don't wanna, like, force you to talk to him, okay? But I promise you, he's _safe_. The evidence that Rainer lied is just... _overwhelming._ "

"I'll have to see it for myself."

"That's okay. That's totally fine. But, you're gonna stay, right?"

Paul's silent. He looks down, biting his lip. 

"It's fine if you wanna, like, go somewhere else for a bit. That's fine. I get it. You just need to plan ahead - "

"I'm staying." 

Belle smiles. Paul grimaces.

What had he gotten himself into? He shouldn't even had opened up the disc case. He shouldn't have touched it. He shouldn't have "known" and "remembered".

Those are the facts of his situation: Petscop was never worth it. Now he just needs to find out _why_ Rainer would do this to Marvin. To him.

* * *

Marvin's second night at the Leskowitz household, he can't sleep. 

Right now, he's stationed on a pullout couch in the small living room, tossing and turning. It's not the couch that's making him uncomfortable, or the LED light from the oven clock - it's something restless in his mind.

He can't figure it out yet.

He goes through the events of Yesterday. That's what the person at NA told him. _Walk yourself through how you got here._

Yesterday was the first day he'd lived with the family - ate breakfast on the couch in silence, got a call from Jill asking him how he was adjusting, lied about it going great. It was _not_ going great, and the Narcotics Anonymous sponsor would get all weird about how he lied, but he figured since it was Jill, it wouldn't matter. Jill would get all pissy and pry at him until he agreed to live with his control freak of a sister. He'd already done that for eighteen years - never again.

He hadn't seen much of Paul, but at least Belle would talk to him. She told him Paul was upset -

That must be it.

How do you make up for something you didn't do?

Before rehab, Marvin would've not even thought about it. If he did, the answer was simple: _I'm not apologizing, ever._ But now he knew that there was some shit he still _had_ done that needed to be righted. Staying out of Paul's life for twenty years, for example....

He tosses and turns again. Huffs. Then sits up, tiredness jolting through his body. He swings his legs over to the floor, and rests his head in his hands, rubbing his temples. Willing some sleep.

_Don't._

But he knows what comes next: the pacing. The longing for something. The nervous snapping of his fingers, his heart twisting and turning, and then he'll start shaking.

It's not withdrawal.

He'd know if it was withdrawal. There would be more symptoms - sweating, aching, fire erupting through his veins. No, it's the feeling of something wrong. What's wrong? Him or the world? 

_snapsnapsnap_

Here he is, pacing in the kitchen -

_snapsnapsnap_

And snapping his fingers - 

_snapsnapsnap_

Trying to swallow the lump in his throat -

"Hey."

A hand grabs his. Anna's face swarms into his view. "Panic attack?"

Swallowing, Marvin nods.

"Okay. What's five things you can see right now?"

5-4-3-2-1. The five senses. He knows the drill and doesn't resist when she runs through it with him. It helps, which surprised him the first time he had tried this method - he'd thought all this shit was bogus. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Shakily exhaling, he tells her: "Paul. I need to - I need to make up for - for leaving him. And you and - "

"We kept in contact, didn't we?"

"Barely. And I didn't have Paul's contact until yesterday."

She nods. "I know he's very quick to anger. Especially with...."

"Petscop."

"Yeah. It's been...hard for him. Me and Belle have tried to get him to get off, but...he treats it like his life."

How could Marvin let Rainer do this? He should've stood up for himself more - but no, Rainer did all the talking. No remorse for what he knew he would do to the family. 

"Paul's not really angry, he's _hurting_. And he might not be ready to talk to you - you gotta let him know you're there for him, okay?"

Marvin nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. Anna does the impossible - she pulls him into a hug and he -

He stalls for a moment. Then hugs her back. And savors this moment - the first time he's ever been...he doesn't know. It's a feeling that he's not had before, or at least not in a while.

As the NA person would say: _Tomorrow is a new day._ Cheesy shit. But it was true.


End file.
